Bitter Hearts (A Southern Loving Book 3) Read online

  Yes, she was rich and never had to worry about student loans, paying rent nor how it felt to struggle. Being wealthy didn’t stop Kari from being driven. She remembered sitting in her grandfather’s office going over blueprints and interior design layouts. That was her dream, even when Grandfather Carl Jennings offer her a role in the business after graduating college, Kari turned it down to establish her own small company. It wasn’t a fortune 500, but it was hers. She didn’t want to be like her siblings, where anything that they wanted would come to fruition with the snap of her finger. Being away from family and Beverly Hills gave her a challenge; she didn’t have to use her family’s money or connections.

  Her sister, Pilar, loved hobnobbing with the rich and famous; pictures of her with movie stars and recording artists were in almost every magazine. Pilar evolved into a party girl, fashion icon, and TV personality. Since her sister was 18 years old she been in and out of substance abuse rehab centers more times than Kari could count. When thinking about Pilar, people would think it couldn’t get any better, but it did. Her brother, Bryon, had no sense of direction or any goals in life. He ran through his inheritance by the time he was twenty-five. Bryon was struggling and her parents didn’t even notice it. Both of her siblings were bright and talented but they were also self-centered, self-destructive, and most of all they were depressed.

  Nashville allowed Kari to discover herself in a brand new world. She wasn’t who she was before. Kari wasn’t one to live life in the fast lane nor did she purchase luxurious items. Money wasn’t everything in life. All she wanted was someone to love her for her and not how deep her pocket was. Her heart pounded quickly in her chest when she thought about Sam only loving her just for her money. Kari was questioning every relationship she’d ever had.

  Her mind was going in overdrive as she thought about what she wanted in life. Being around Hank and receiving the letter from Sam had her thinking about love. With Sam, she never felt like they were deeply connected.

  Reaching over on the night stand, she called the only person who knew what she was going through.

  “Hel-Hello?” a soft voice with a hint of a Spanish flavor answered the phone.

  “Hi Madre.”

  When Kari turned 21 years old Rita left the Hayes’ family to go back home to Mexico City with a nice retirement package from her mother. Kari wasn’t shameful that she called the woman who wasn’t her mother, mom. Rita was there for her for every step in her life, even wiped her tears when her parents missed countless school performances and soccer games. When Rita left to go back to Mexico to be near her own family and children, Kari felt alone. But it didn’t stop her from visiting her second mother during the holiday time when her parents were still too busy to spend it with her.

  “My Hija! How are you?” Rita said happily.

  “I’m okay,” Kari replied, looking up at the ceiling. “I ju-just needed someone to talk to.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything,” she said, sitting up in bed. “Sam is getting married and he sent me a letter.”

  “Did you read it?” Rita asked her voice full of concern.

  “A…little,” Kari mumbled, as she held the phone to her other ear. “I burned the rest.”

  “Tsk-tsk,”

  She could picture the older woman shaking her head as if Kari was that small child again. “He’s getting married and I didn’t want to hear anything that he had to say.”

  “K, you never got peace.” Rita reminded her. “You reflected on the relationship you had with Sam as you packed and moved to Nashville. Out of all the places to move to with your family connections, you chose a city you’d never been to.”

  “I needed to get away from LA and the limelight.”

  “Kari, you don’t need to prove to anyone that you’re loveable.” Rita’s voice became soft and nurturing.

  “It’s easy for you to say that,” Kari scoffed, as she padded around the house. Going into the kitchen she made herself a cold glass of chocolate milk. “You are the only person who truly cared about me.”

  “Kari Elizabeth Hayes, I love you like you came from my own womb. But I want you to know that your parents love you just as much. They just show it differently.”

  “I think about how Bryon and Pilar are so fucked up, but I am too,” she mumbled before taking a sip of her cold chocolate milk.

  “I will not talk about Bryon and Pilar, but Kari you are different my child, I’ve been telling you that since the day you was born.”

  “But you also told me that I would allow my fear to overshadow true love and happiness.”

  “My dear Kari, you’ve always been one to analyze everything,” Rita chuckled. “Always remember the truth about yourself and don’t get lost in the illusion.”

  Kari stood there drinking her milk and listen to Rita talking. She was right about her being scared about experiencing a loving relationship. In the back of her head she was always waiting for Sam to do something that sent her running to the hills. Kari remembered her father Carl saying that love only makes a person weak and vulnerable. She always believed that she wasn’t good enough to be loved or could be successful enough with her family connections and deep down she was scared others would find that out.

  “Kari, stop being scared of what you want,” Rita yawned. “Sam wasn’t the man for you and I told you that when you brought his sly ass home.”

  “I know,” Kari said quickly.

  “Move beyond the fears,” Rita said. “Don’t let it determine your actions.”

  “Your right,” she sighed. Flopping down on the sofa.

  “I know,” Rita laughed. “Get some sleep; I’ll call you later this week.”

  “Goodnight, I love you,” she said before hanging up the phone.

  Kari went back to her bed and laid down. Her heart was already broken and with Sam’s deceit it was shattered in a million pieces. How could she expect someone to love her when she didn’t love herself? Kari knew she was still holding onto an old relationship. It’d been two years since the break-up and she was still dwelling on what she possibly did wrong or what she could have done different. The letter and Corey telling her about Sam was causing her to rehash the situation at hand.

  Kari knew that she would have to revisit the past physically, instead of suffering from the memories that kept her up at night.

  Chapter Four

  Country music that played in the workshop blared over the loud sounds coming from the saw. It’d been exactly three days since Hank last laid eyes on Kari Hayes. Her assistant, Corey, arrived the other day to drop off and make sure he received the expensive mahogany wood and the building plans for the cribs. Hank couldn’t deny that he was disappointed that it wasn’t Kari who was knocking on his front door early that morning.

  Working in the woodshop always gave him a peace of mind and allowed him to channel the creativity that his uncle taught him before dying. He always built furniture and carved knickknacks for family and friends. A sense of pride washed over him knowing that he could provide a handmade crib for his cousin’s babies.

  Working with wood always made Hank think of Sean McBride; the man who raised him like a son. He was also the man who taught him how to wield a chisel. He remembered the long, peaceful hours working with his uncle. The years had passed by quickly and Hank was still trying to get past the grief of losing his mother, uncle and aunt. Every time he stepped foot in a wood shop or smelled fresh cut lumber he thought about his uncle and the gift he shared with him.

  “Hello,” said a sweet familiar female voice. “You’re working quickly.”

  Turning off the machine Hank turned to see Kari standing in the doorway; she looked like she just stepped off a runaway. He shrugged and went back to cutting the lumber.

  Kari pursed her lips and stepped back from the loud machinery and watched as Hank expertly cut the wood. Every time the blade sank into the piece she cringed thinking that he may cut himself. Staying in the workshop would rack havoc on he
r sinuses if she stayed longer in the room.

  “Did you get the dimension guidelines and the non-toxic finishing for the cribs?” she asked.

  “I got it,” he yelled over the grinding of the machine.

  Kari nodded her head. With nothing else to say, she backed out of the room and went outside into the cool afternoon air making her way to her car. She was about to open the door when his voice stopped her.

  “Kari.” Hank said nonchalantly. “We need to talk.” He walked over towards her.

  Tentatively, Kari closed the car door and took a few steps toward Hank.

  “Hank?” she asked, a little uncertainly. “Is something wrong?”

  Hank shook his head no, as he took off his gloves. “We need to talk.”

  “About what?” she managed to say, tearing her eyes away from his sweaty chest.

  “This.”

  He pulled her roughly to him and planted his lips against hers. It was surprising at first, but Kari finally returns the warming kiss. Having her soft tiny body pressed against his, molding to fit against his hard muscles and smooth tan skin, and her soft lips so close he could feel more and the low gasp that escaped. His fingers ran through her black hair that smelled fruity. The last time he was around her was tortuous for him, he wanted to kiss her so bad but instead he was so rude to her.

  Kari pulled back away and looked up at him with confusion. Hank was confused and his eyes were glazed with a lust fill hazed.

  “Leave.” The word came out his mouth but honestly he didn’t want her to go.

  “Why?”

  “I will not be able to stop what will happen next,” he warned.

  They stood there in the cool autumn air that was becoming thick and heated. The tense atmosphere became stifling and suffocating as they both took a deep breaths to steady themselves.

  Hank’s jaw muscle twitched, as well as another parts of his anatomy. Kari stepped towards him and ran her small fingers up his biceps. He slowly wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. Just one touch from Kari had him tingling. Tightening his arms around her until he felt that closeness they had a few moments ago, her breasts pressed hard against the rippling muscles of his shirtless chest.

  Kari’s stomach fluttered. She didn’t know if she was making the best decision or the worst. A few days ago at dinner, she experienced a connection with Hank that was unspoken. That kiss they shared earlier had taken control of all her senses.

  Hank leaned in; he watched as Kari eyes fluttered closed, her lips parted as she ran her tongue across her lower lip.

  His lips wanted to dance with hers once more, but this time he wanted to take it slow and savor Kari. Hank kissed the crook of her neck. He inhaled deeply; she smelled sweet, fresh, and feminine, with a hint of violet and he couldn’t see to get enough. Hank groaned loudly as he placed a lingering, wet kiss against the column of her neck, causing her to shiver in his arms.

  Kari closed her eyes as she felt his lips traveled up the slope of her neck, leaving feather light kisses along her jaw and blazing a trail of heat up to her ear. The uncertain feeling she was having a second ago was quickly disappearing as she felt his warm breath caress her ear. Hank’s smoky voice caused butterflies in her stomach and wetness to pool between her thighs.

  “Kari-”

  “Kiss me,” she moaned.

  They were too far gone to turn back now. He wanted to know, to make sure this was what she really wanted. He didn’t see regret in her whiskey eyes, or that confused look he’d seen earlier. Hank didn’t know what he wanted other than to kiss her.

  Kari swallowed hard. Her body was on fire with want, desire, and anticipation. Her hands moved up his shoulders and draped around his neck, her fingers slipped through his shaggy brown hair and pulled his head down to hers. She shuddered as his hand traveled slowly up her stomach. The sensual touch caused her nipples to pebble. Hank pushed her curly hair over her shoulder. Cupping the back of her head, his fingers tangled in her thick hair. His other hand went to the small of her back. He tilted her head down so that he could look into those beautiful eyes. He leaned in and his warm, soft lips brushed lightly against hers.

  She let out a whimper as she craved more from him. Their lips moved slowly together, melding to one another. The first few kisses were tender and gentle. Gradually, the kisses turned heated and hungry.

  His tongue glided to her bottom lip, demanding entrance. His soft, warm tongue plunged inside probing and exploring the warm juiciness of her mouth. Kari moaned, which amplified Hank’s desire, needs, and wants. He was on the brink of losing control. Kari’s body was electrified with just one kiss.

  Ahem

  They were both frozen for a second before they scrambled away from one another. Turning around, they saw Farrah and Austin McBride standing there with a knowing smile on their faces. Hank’s face was red with embarrassment as his cousin stared at him with a huge smirk on his face.

  “Should we come back later?” Austin asked, looking back and forth between Kari and Hank.

  “No…No…We’re done,” Kari said, stuttering awkwardly. “Actually, I was just checking out Hank-I mean the crib.”

  “You don’t say,” Austin teased. “How’s everything looking?”

  “Excellent,” Hank answered, looking at Kari.

  “Which one, the cribs or Kari?” Austin replied in a deadpan voice.

  Hank blinkingly looked at Austin. “Enough.”

  “I have some samples that I have to pick up from the seamstress for our appointment tomorrow,” Kari said, looking at Farrah.

  “I can’t wait,” Farrah smiled.

  Hank stood there watching Kari. He could feel his cousin staring at him and knew that the teasing would come. “Hold on,” Hank said to Austin, before jogging to Kari as she sat in her car. He leaned in. Her eyes widened and darted to Austin and Farrah, who were staring at them. His lips captured hers the instant she looked back at him, a sweet soulful kiss that held a promise.

  “Can I see you tomorrow?” he rasped.

  “Yes,” she responded in a husky voice.

  He kissed her cheek and closed the door. Hank stood in that spot as he watched her drive away.

  “So, what’s going on with you and Kari?” Farrah questioned, standing next to him.

  “I don’t know where my relationship is going with Kari. I had dinner with her a few nights ago and I know that there is this feeling I can’t explain,” he said truthfully. “I haven’t fully gotten over Natalie, but the first step is filing for divorce which I already have my attorney on. I already arranged a meeting with Clark when I arrive in Dallas.”

  “All I ask is for you to take a lesson from this hurt and use it as a healing process-” Farrah started to say.

  “Take what you learn into a new relationship,” Austin finished for her.

  “How come you guys are taking about a relationship?” Hank said, with a sour look on his face.

  “Fine, I won’t say relationship, but all I’m asking is for you to learn about genuine unconditional love.” Farrah touched his hand. “That doesn’t have anything to do with infatuation, lust, or what makes you happy. Find the meaning of true intimacy that can touch your soul.”

  Hank thought about what his Farrah had just told him, when he thought about the relationship that he shared with Natalie he realized that they didn’t’ have a deep connection. They fell in love quickly and next came marriage. He thought by sacrificing, and tolerating Natalie’s negative behavior was proof that he loved her. Now that he thought about it, it wasn’t love at all.

  Where was the understanding, seeing and hearing and accepting him for who he was? Hearing Farrah’s words aloud made him realize that the marriage that Natalie and him had was conditional.

  “You just need someone who is going to simply love and adore you,” Farrah said in a low voice.

  “Did you guys come all this way to talk about relationships?” Hank asked, slipping on his gloves to get back to work on the cribs.

&nbs
p; “Actually, the state fair is this weekend and Greg the lead guitarist is still recovering from a broken leg,” Austin said hesitantly. “I need you, bro.”

  Austin had his pick of the liter to find someone to play alongside him at the concert. A second ticked by before Hank gave his answer. “Just for the state fair.”

  Farrah nudged Austin and cleared her throat.

  “Well---See if Greg isn’t ready by the Country Music Awards I was thinking you could…”

  “Oh, hell no.” Hank shook his head vehemently, “You said state fair, and before you know it you’re going to want me on the road with you or worse in the studio.”

  “It’s a paying gig,” Farrah said, trying to help.

  “Hank doesn’t need the money,” Austin said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “He has more than enough money. He may appear to be the ranch manager in both places but Hank is a wealthy man with all those smart investments and not to mention the ranch in Wyoming that his grandfather left him.”

  “I thought…” Farrah said, appearing in shock.

  “That he’s poor?” Austin shook his head no. “But it’s not my story to tell.”

  “I’ll do it,” Hank said reluctantly. “But only until Greg is up and at it.”

  “Thanks I’ll owe you one.” Austin gave him a brotherly hug.

  “You should come back to the house for dinner,” Farrah interjected.

  “I need to finish up the cribs before Kari is up my neck,” he said, and started make his way to workshop.

  “Or in your pants,” Austin quipped raising an eyebrow.

  “I’m making grilled chicken with a whiskey barbecue sauce and my famous spicy coleslaw,” Farrah said quickly.

  “You know what, I’m not going to say anything,” Hank said, taking off the gloves he just put on. “I know we tease you relentlessly.”

  “Is that what you say,” Austin laughed, as he guided Farrah to the pickup truck.